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Russian Hearts and Boomsies

13.4.2010 - Velvet and Annemarie, Collages by Annemarie

So Uncle Sergej seemed to be on the roads again (or rather at the -brewery- gates).

Looks like we have a juice Daily (well, more Once-in-a-While-Daily) Soap Opera going on spiced with love, drama, heroism and unexpected turns.

Hmhmhm, let's see???.

Summary of what has happened

Uncle Sergej - the Bear Who Came in from the Cold - cast an eye (well, all two of his) on Corinna of Stuttgart who attended a Knuipe party with her husband Anton. Most probably he misunderstood her piercing glances and watchful attitude she always shows when other females are around. But he was cocksure that Corinna was highly impressed of his formidable appearance and his urbane charm and interested in a closer acquaintance and from that day on he was committed to conquer that Lady.

When Anton found Uncle-Sergej-e-mails on his mobile (it's real funny how sometimes phone numbers get mixed up, isn't it?) he furiously confronted Sergej stating that Corinna was HIS, the one and only and forever. [Don't miss a very pleased looking Corinna somewhere in the background]. The conflict ended with Uncle Sergej challenging Anton to a duel. He didn't know of course of Corinna's rolling pin collection which includes a woollen one for her soft moments and he didn't know anything about her big passion either (which is not brewing herbal tea of course).

The first duel in history with rolling ended with a complete disaster for poor Uncle Sergej and he decided to give up philandering and look for a decent more than middle aged lady to stay with if not for the rest of his life then for a rather long time. And so we leave Uncle Sergej on Mercedes' living room sofa sipping tea and practising crotched patterns and think he will live a happy and quiet life from now on.

But next thing we see is a hard drin..-ahm- working Russian bear at a Danish brewery who takes up responsibility as Strike Leader when fundamental rights of his co-workers were cut down. It's said that he's not only hard working and heavily engaged at that Danish brewery but that he's also negotiating with a certain Herr Graf to work part time in his distillery and/or horse stables besides.

What happened? Is Mercedes alone again sobbing out her heart? Is Uncle Sergej - if it's really him - under law's probation because he was caught in the middle of some major mischief? Or is he just building up an alias because some old friends from his KGB - CIA - MI5 - MAD - Stasi - times wanted to talk to him about his attitude "Whoever pays my vodka bill I'm the faithful servant"?

Wait and see and join the new episodes of "Russian Hearts and Boomsie ".

Episode 567 of "Russian Hearts" - "Which Sister"
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Quite a long time (at least a long time for Uncle-Sergej-standards) Uncle Sergej stayed at Mercedes' home sipping tea and crotcheting things that with some imagination one could understand as lace doilies.

Then Mercedes noticed that Sergej was noticeable tired in the mornings and smelled slightly of stale beer and smoke but she didn't mind much because she thinks that it is only natural for males to go out for a beer or two in the evening. She even stopped nagging about an early return when she got a rather enthusiastic telephone call from the Ministry of Economics asking her for the post address and congratulating her for hosting such a splendid Russian travesty artist.

As she had to admit that she might not understand the secretary on the line explained that the other night the Minister of Economics and an equal guest of the state from an Arabian country visited a night club in London where there happened to be a performance of a belly dancer dressed as a polar bear and wearing a pink doily over head and eyes. Next morning the minister stated that he had never seen anything equal and wasn't sure if he will ever understand the deeper meaning even if he thought about it some days more and so that performance must have been an art of a unbelievable high level.
That art of that class even works wonders was proved by the fact that the Arabian Oil Minister signed several hard negotiated contracts that day without even looking at them anymore. He seemed still to be in a lively day dream staring into space and only mumbling from time to time something about "pink lace". Rumours that he was drooling also were denied though. For that Uncle Sergej was offered a merit medal and they wanted to invite him for reception.

So from now on she only smiled mildly when Uncle Sergej was precautious that she went to bed early for her beauty sleep.

But when Mercedes found out that Uncle Sergej started using gin for brewing his tea and she suddenly had the strong feeling that her bank account had a leak somewhere she decided to make a long long distant call.

Some days later a very slim but rather long parcel arrived and shortly after Uncle Sergej applied urgently for any job available.

Asked what caused the sudden change Mercedes only smiled sweetly and said that she got good advice from a dear friend and help from heaven. Her bank account had improved remarkably and that ice white Touareg in front of her door had been a recent gift from her dear Sergej.
She strictly denied a statement though about the new art object on her sideboard which looked rather avant-garde and strangely looked a little bit like an ebony cane on a velvet cushion.

After a comercial for Danish beer we're back to our famous series
"Russian Hearts and Boomsies" - Episode 567 "Whitch Sister" - Part 2

Light into the dark of the origin of Mercedes' mysterious art object might bring a letter which the HR director of the Danish brewery found among Uncle Sergej's application papers.

"Dear Soul Sister Mercedes,
I'm sending you the famous Cane of Oma Lisa which I inherited because she thought that I have an equal strong moral standard as she had. But as I am practising the rolling pin all my life I have no use for that cane which feels too sleek for a Viking girl by birth that learned to love the Earthy Suebian Cuisine. It's much more suitable for a delicate English lady like you are.

Please cherish it because that cane has seen many good fights and had always been victorious. If you look closely you can see fine carvings. Oma Lisa made one for every pighead she taught modesty with it. There are quite a number of them, aren't there? The little x among the latest stands for a disco door guard who dared to ask her age. I've never seen somebear so furious like Oma Lisa was that evenening ?. The notch at the end of the cane, well, that's a very special story that I won't tell now ? if I ever dare to tell it.

The handling of the cane is very simply. Grab it on the end where the crook is, swing it around and hit whoever stands in your way as hard as you can and as often as you can. Never pursuit your man, they either come back or aren't worth it.

Oma Lisa told me that that cane never failed to work. Personally I have some doubts if that Russian kind-of-James-Bond isn't too insensitive for a slender thing like that. Just in case of I'm sending a package of my herbal tea "Corinna's Best" too. No one is insensible enough to withstand that. Be sure to wear rubber gloves when preparing it. And yes, it works also when prepared with gin instead of water.

Keep your spirits high and good luck, girl!
Yours Corinna"

12.4 -  von Annemarie

Zurzeit hat Onkel Sergej kein Geld und muss erst einmal wieder etwas liquider werden. Dieser Teilzeitjob in der dänischen Brauerei wird ihm nicht mehr allzu gut gefallen, denn es soll laut Geschäftsleitung die Selbstbedienung während der Arbeit wegfallen. Habe schlimme Befürchtungen, dass es dort bald Abmahnungen für ihn oder gar eine Entlassung geben wird. Ist er denn mit der Mercedes verbandelt? Ich dachte, er tingelt so von einem Ort zum anderen, also ein Eisbären-Vagabund. Raspis Graf hat ihm auch einen Hilfsjob angeboten, so auf 400 Euro-Basis, im gräflichen Pferdestall, Pferde füttern, ausmisten etc. Stark genug ist er ja. Sergej selber würde viel lieber in der Schnapsbrennerei arbeiten. Lass mich noch ein wenig recherchieren.

13.4 - von Annemarie

Von Onkel Sergej habe ich gestern erfahren, dass die Mitarbeiter im Lager der Carlsberg-Brauerei in H./Dänemark, die letzte Woche wegen der neuen Alkoholpolitik der Brauerei gestreikt hatten, wieder arbeiten. Ihr wisst ja, die Unternehmensleitung hatte beschlossen, dass die Angestellten nur noch in der Mittagspause Bier trinken dürfen, woraufhin diese in den Streik getreten waren. Bisher standen den Mitarbeitern drei Freibier im Laufe des Arbeitstages zu.

Onkel Sergej (Vertrauensmann der Streikenden) teilte mir mit, dass die Lagerarbeiter die Arbeit mit der Erwartung wieder aufgenommen haben, dass die Betriebsleitung bald zu einem Treffen lädt, auf dem das Problem gelöst werden soll. Es gibt also dort nach einiges für ihn zu tun.

Auch meinte er, in seiner Freizeit beschäftigt er sich jetzt verstärkt mit Häkeln (um Mercedes zu beeindrucken), damit er darin perfekter wird, aber es will nicht so recht klappen. Ob ich vielleicht noch was Anderes weiß, er hätte mal was von Klöppeln gehört. Oh, ich habe ihm sofort abgeraten, damit kann er sich ja verletzen, besonders nach diversen Freibieren.

TBM lässt er ausrichten, dass eine Arbeit in der Knuipe, wie von ihr vorgeschlagen, für ihn der Traum aller Bären sei. Das würde er sogar ehrenamtlich machen. (Ob wir uns da nicht eventuell noch eine "Drink-QC" einhandeln werden?)

14.4 Neues aus der Raspi/Herr Graf-Welt - von Annemarie

Onkel Sergej hat mir heute aus Dänemark Fotos geschickt, die er neulich während der Wellness-Tage mit Raspi beim Herrn Grafen in G. geschossen hat. Wie wir wissen war der Onkel in dieser Zeit auf (Alkohol-)Entgiftung, was erklärt, dass nur 3 Bilder gut geworden sind, die anderen sind alle verwackelt. Die Bergruine wurde allabendlich von unseren beiden Bären bestiegen und beim Reitturnier hatte Raspi wohl auch viel Spaß beim Zuschauen. Schaut selber: